Broken Home

My whole life, I vowed I would NEVER go through a divorce, and since my parents had never divorced I was going to live by that example.  No matter what happens, everything can be fixed.  After two years of marriage and two beautiful daughters later, my husband decided we were done.  I didn't know what to do.  Valentine's Day in 2008, he came home late with our older daughter after a day out with "grandma".  I had planned a Valentine's Day party at our house and had a few friends over.  Little did I know what was going to happen.  He was quiet most of the evening, and we didn't say much.  I knew something was amiss.

The next morning, as he was getting ready for work, I asked him what was going on......and if he had been talking the D word with his parents.  His response???    "I filed the paperwork and you will be served in a few days.  Then, I am gone."  I figured.  My heart fell out of my chest as he walked out the door for work.  I slowly walked to the kitchen, as my children were still asleep, and just slipped down the wall to the floor where I cried for what seemed like forever.  My older daughter came around the corner from her bedroom, saying  "Mommy cry?"  I just picked her up, wiped my tears away, and smiled. 

Four days later on the 19th, a middle aged man came to my door and dropped off the paperwork, and with saying those dreaded words  "You have been served." He walked away.  I called my husband at work, told him about the paperwork and his response was  "I guess I won't be coming home tonight then."  That night, he stayed with his parents, I stayed home.  The next morning, I packed my girls in the car and drove to my parents.  I explained what was going on and cried like mad.  Our youngest was only 4 months old, our oldest was just barely over 2 years old.  What was going to happen?

We argued in mediation over and over, in and out of court.  The judge didn't seem fair, but what can I say?  In the end, I had my girls in custody more than he did, because he worked full time.  I got a job in landscaping throughout all of this.  After the divorce was finalized in October of that year, so did my job.  I kept job hunting like crazy after that, with no avail.  My family built a 2 bedroom house onto their house so I could help take care of the property, and be with the family, and so that the kids would have someplace to be.  I can't thank them enough.  They have done so much for us.

Ever since then, my ex and I have had to get along.  Some weeks seems better than others.  We work things out well enough, heck we even joke around like old times.  But still, I never EVER wanted to have a broken home.  It's so hard on the children, having to jump back and forth between houses so much.  And when school starts?  Holy flying monkeys.  It's going to be even harder.  Parent Teacher Conferences, homework, extracurricular activities......I don't know whats going to happen.    Now I am engaged to a wonderful hard working man and he has been so wonderful with his emotional support.  He helps me whenever I need it, working outside, moving irrigation pipes, outside housework, things like that.

Not a lot of stuff can be said for divorce except that it's hurtful.  Everything can always be worked out, but it's a cowardly person to take the easy way out.  Well, that's my view on things.

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